wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize