no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am spending my child support on dildos
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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