Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize