Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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