I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
