Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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