you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
