He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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