Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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