sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
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I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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