At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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