just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
