I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
