I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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