In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
