Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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