My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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