He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
