i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
