Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
