Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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