This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
