What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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