She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
