so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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