Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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