Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
