she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
