Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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