i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
