My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
