This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize