I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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