How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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