break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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