i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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