Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
