I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize