My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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