I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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