apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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