Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
