is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
