You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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