I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
