idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
