Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
