I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
