Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
