My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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