he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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