Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I am morally bankrupt
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
