so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
