i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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