he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
