I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
