when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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