i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
