i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
